


Memories of You

by Farva5



Category: Persona 3, The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Ellie (The Last of Us) Needs a Hug, Ellie Plays Persona 3, Gen, Persona 3 References, Post-Canon, Set Post-The Last of Us Part II, The Last of Us Part II Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26734939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Farva5/pseuds/Farva5
Summary: After the events of The Last of Us Part II, Ellie gets a copy of Persona 3 FES, and it helps her reflect on the events of the game.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	Memories of You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [madammina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/madammina/gifts).



> Not too long ago, I made a video essay comparing The Last of Us Part II to Persona 3: The Answer, and how both deal with loss and mourning in mature and interesting ways. (If for some reason you want to watch it, you can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_n_9_OPnuE).
> 
> Madammina challenged me to write a story where Ellie plays Persona 3 because of that video, so here it is.

It was always a pain to haggle with the traveling merchants. Ellie knew there wasn’t any currency left, there never had been as far as she was concerned. But the Fireflies always took care of that, then Joel, so she really hadn’t been doing it for that long. She gave up more crops than she probably intended, but she really felt like she needed this Playstation game.

Ellie, thankfully, had a working Playstation 3. Joel had gotten it for her a couple years back, and it helped keep her busy in Jackson, especially after her breakup with Cat. She poured hours upon hours into Killzone 3, which she lied to herself, saying that it was good practice for zombies. She mostly just liked killing time.

Anyway, the game she had her sights on now was Persona 3 FES, which she was 99% sure would work for her. Jesse had talked about the franchise a lot, she had seen him playing Persona 4 plenty of times. He traded it for a birthday gift for Dina just before… well…

Ellie had started playing more role playing games recently. Losing a couple fingers makes a lot of games pretty hard for her, so she likes the ability to take her time with things, or only have to press one button at a time.

\---

Ellie fired up the game as soon as she could. She named the player character “Joel Miller”, because she really couldn’t think of any boys names at the moment. Weirdly Joel’s seemed the least painful of all the men she knew, which probably was a bad thing, but Ellie wasn’t too motivated to unpack that right now.

The fact that it was a dating sim caught Ellie off guard, she couldn’t remember if she had played one before? Oh! Mass Effect. That did. At least that one let her be gay. She wasn’t surprised this one didn’t let her, but hey, at least she had to play as a guy, so she still got to romance girls. She knew pretty instantly she was going to date Yukari. It felt so silly to try to find love in a game so soon after Dina, but it weirdly helped calm her. Yukari… reminded her a lot of Riley, which she didn’t want to admit was definitely why she romanced her. Both were confident, and headstrong, and never missed a chance to tease those they cared about. She really liked Yukari.

The first time Ellie cried was at Shinji’s death. She wasn’t really expecting it, honestly. All she could see was Jesse lying on the ground in front of her. She felt like she was Ken, staring at the shooter, waiting for another bullet that never came.

\---

Ellie didn’t play the game for another week. She practiced guitar, tried to hunt, learned a recipe from that cookbook she just got… Ellie felt at peace for the first time in a while. Losing Dina and JJ was starting to hurt less. But it was weird how that energy was mostly being taken up by her desire to see how the game ended.

After picking it back up, she powered through the main game pretty quickly. She was surprised how close she was to the end. Sure, it was like 70 hours long, but when you don’t really have anything else to do with your life, it goes by pretty quickly.

Ellie tried to figure out which was the character she liked most. Or at least was the most like her. It was sad how easily she knew it was Akihiko. An orphan who lost a loved one at too young of an age, and has since used training to mask the pain? Yeah… she knew it was her.

\---

“That’s it? That’s it! I play hours of the stupid game and that’s it?!?” Ellie yelled at the screen as the credits rolled. He… he just dies? She broke down crying all over again. Why did she have to name him Joel? She wasn’t ready for this! It felt like the stitches were ripped violently open all over again. She almost broke the game disc then and there, but she knew it was worth too much and she couldn’t afford to be that petty.

\---

The next time the merchant was around, he explained to Ellie about the epilogue. She tried to sell it back to him, but once she started complaining he insisted she put the game back in and click on “The Answer”. Ellie was curious about it, but she was so angry about the ending she kind of forgot. She relented, and went back home to play The Answer.

\---

She didn't really like Aigis during the main game. She felt too foreign to really relate to. Ellie knew robots were never going to exist. Her sci-fi was astronauts and outer space. Superheroes. Stuff she aspired to. Or at least her 14 year old self did. Robots just felt so… other. Plus Ellie had never really had to learn to have feelings. Living post Outbreak Day was just non stop feelings and emotion.

Ellie liked this Aigis better though. Everyone was mourning the loss of "Joel", a concept Ellie knew far too well. And everyone was acting super weird about it. Not like… not like themselves. Least of all Yukari.

Yukari wanted to end the world to see "Joel" again. She even argued and fought with those she loved. Ellie cried every time she was on screen. It was a cathartic cry though.

"Why- why can't you see? You're so stupid!" Ellie yelled this at the tv more times than she could count. Playing this was both the best and worst thing she had done. All she saw was herself behind Yukari's eyes. She loved Yukari, she hated seeing her so sad. Ellie hated thinking other people were as driven as she was back in Seattle.

Eventually, Ellie learned the truth of "Joel's" death. And hated that it reminded her of her Joel. She thought about Joel telling her he would save her all over again. "Joel" died so the rest of his friends could live, just like Joel did for her. Maybe she was starting to understand Aigis. It really hurts, facing a loved one's death. Ellie knew this all too well. But it was nice to see them approach it as friends. Something… she was reluctant to do. Even if Jesse and Dina and Tommy tried to be there with her, at least at first. She just ended up driving them away. Aigis brought everyone together.

It was nice seeing Yukari reach her breaking point. Ellie couldn't take seeing her past self on screen much longer. It was so sad though. She… she thought of Abby. She hadn't thought of Abby in a long time. Mostly on purpose. She thought about having all that hate in your heart but then, pivotally, dropping it and moving on. She wondered if Abby ever found peace. And if Abby's peace was different than hers. It was weird, thinking about Abby, and knowing she'd never have an answer.

Ultimately, Ellie cried one last time at the resolution. They got a happy ending. At least they did. Even if "Joel" never came back, they all made peace with each other. They all grew, just as Ellie did. It was weird, it was the first time playing a game felt… cathartic to Ellie.

Hopefully the merchant would have a copy of Persona 4 next time he came around. She had to see what Jesse liked so much about it, because he would've hated whatever she just played. Ellie was glad she played it though. She felt more like Yukari than she'd like to admit. But maybe that was okay.


End file.
